Lon’qu A+ Support
Requirement‼️ [After seeing all his supports with everyone he can support with, A+ Support gets unlocked.]
It’s been a whole month after the “celebration.” And yet… all of his prior conversations won’t leave my mind.
It’s been maybe… 16 months for goodness sake!! (Not that I’m counting!) I sigh.
I’m at the training grounds, attacking the training dummies.
(He’s changed my world upside down.)
Laura: “I’m normally not like this…”
(Who am I kidding…) (I’ve been like this?!) (He’s made me like this?!)
I thwack the training dummy with my axe.
(I’ve been ignoring him on purpose…) I know it’s not right but… (Nothing is nothing right?)
(I just can’t… afford to love him even more than I do now…)
More slashes. Feral almost…
I’ve put some distance between us, I don’t come by everyday like I used to.
I’ve asked both Robins to take Lon’qu on more scouts and not pair me up, avoid bringing me to missions and tell everyone I’m on a “special project”…
I thought the distance would help with sorting out my thoughts, but it’s somehow worse…
(Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder is a liar.) I’m agitated… (but why?)
More thwacks, the straw spewing out slowly.
(I feel like I have withdrawal symptoms instead… how is that fair?!)
More slashes… the training dummy becoming lopsided.
(I know that I was the one who forced him to go through all of this. So, why does it still bother me so much…?!?)
“…” *I breathe hard and low, frustrated with myself. The training dummy shredding even further. It’s like half a training dummy at this point.
My thoughts wouldn’t stop. I keep on thinking about some of the conversations he’s had with the others.
(Cherche digging into… no she just knows his past… and how she’s talked to Ke’ri’s parents.)
(Regardless…) I seethe.
(Tharja… and his admittance of living in the slums… admittance of love…)
I sigh.
(His nightmares…)
(His kindness… delivering back Panne’s bag, saving Miriel, even indulging in Nowi’s antics, protecting Lissa… just always putting himself in front of others when they need help…)
(His willingness to help… to everyone who isn’t me!! And keeping secrets from me?!)
A pang in my heart.
(I thought we were closer than that…)
(But I’m nothing… to him.)
Laura: “Just die already!!” I completely destroyed the training dummy.
“Was that necessary…to obliterate it?”
“!” I spin around. “Lon,qu…!” I say his name shocked and shakily. I haven’t seen him at all this week.
Lon’qu: “What has you all riled up.”
Laura: “You... I mean nothing!!”
Lon’qu: “…What?” He stares at me. “I’ve never seen you destroy a training dummy before. Not like this. This isn’t nothing.”
I groan. “It’s just that…”
(My heart feels heavy with a burden.)
(Seeing him twists my heart into knots.)
(Jealously… maybe…? Why am I jealous though…?)
I blurt out the first thing on my mind.
Laura: “All those girls were flirting with you.”It comes out harshly even though I didn’t intend it to be that way.
Lon’qu: “…What?” His face turning red.
The slight of his blush when he mentions the others makes my mood even more sour.
Laura: “Yes. They were. Flirting. With you.” I spat out the words almost.
He recoils not expecting me to sound this way. “No one… was flirting.” He looks at me quizzically.
I attack another training dummy.
Lon’qu: “Talk. Stop killing the training equipment.”
Laura: “I’m not sure what you want me to tell you.” I fume.
Lon’qu: “What has gotten you so angry…?”
(Other girls!! You??) “I don’t know…” I breathe again harshly. “Myself.”
Lon’qu: “Yourself…?” He eyes me suspiciously.
Laura: “Technically yes, because I caused all this…”
Lon’qu: “Is… it because of the Shepherds?”
My breath hitches that he was spot on.
Lon’qu: “What about them?”
Laura: “What. Indeed…” I huffed.
He stands in front of me, between the training dummy and my axe.
(He won’t even let me train!)
Laura: “…Move.”
Lon’qu: “…No.”
(His no…) I’m irritated now.
Laura: “I’m here to train and you’re in the way.” I hiss out.
Lon’qu: “Not in that condition, you’re not.”
His voice flat. Calm. He crosses his arm.
Laura: “…”
Lon’qu: “…”
He still doesn’t budge.
Laura: “Why… do you still get in my way…”
(I’m afraid if I continue talking I won’t be able to stop…)
He blinks, and clenches his jaw. That look… the look where he’s thinking about what to say.
Laura: “What do you want from me…?” It comes out small, hurt…
Lon’qu: “Laura…” His hand reaches out and I step back away from him.
His hand hangs in the air… Though, his eyes seem wounded…
Lon’qu: “…” then another “Laura…” Pain in his voice? (Or that’s just me…?)
The way he’s looking at me… the way he calls my name… just unravels me…
All my feelings I’ve been bottling up for the past year and a half comes spilling out incoherently.
Laura: “Sharing you was the worst idea that I’ve ever had…! You getting close to the others…”
He clenches his jaw and unclenches his jaw. But, no words come out…
Lon’qu: “…”
Laura: “Letting Robin sneak into your tent, being relaxed around her…”
Lon’qu: “I did not let her.” His voice comes out harsh, sharp.
Laura: “Getting used to Sully too and training with her…”
Lon’qu: “She fights with a lance, training where I have a weapon disadvantage is insightful.”
Laura: “Protecting Lissa that you took an arrow for her!”
Lon’qu: “It was an order.”
(Why is he rebutting me…)
Laura: “Changing your speech to talk to Maribelle…”
Lon’qu: “It was easier to deal with her that way.”
Laura: “Telling Cordelia that your favorite dish is cabbage stew.”
Lon’qu: “She asked, I answered.”
(Says the guy who doesn’t like to answer questions?!?)
Laura: “Letting Nowi call you her hus- ughh playing house with her!”
Lon’qu: “Don’t remind me. It was awful.”
Laura: “Being Miriel’s test experiment.”
Lon’qu: “I did say that the minstrel could have done their thing.”
(What is this even becoming…?!)
Laura: “Letting Olivia be all touchy feely with you!” I cross my arms now.
Lon’qu: “I told her to let go.”
Laura: “What about your nightmares…? You were willing to drink the concoction from Panne just to get rid of them…”
Lon’qu: “…”
(Now he goes silent…)
(Then, his whole past reveal with Tharja…)
Laura: “How am I supposed to compete…”
Lon’qu: “…What?”
Laura: “You didn’t even tell me about Ke’ri…”
He visibly flinches.
Lon’qu: “!”
My words stinging us both.
(I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to be here… like this.)
Laura: “And why… do you always tell me anything or anytime but not act upon it?!”
(I’ve said too much…) I feel like I’ve ripped out my heart out and left it on display… for him.
And yet… he stays silent. He doesn’t console me…
I try to blink the tears away but they don’t go… I wince.
Laura: “Forget it. Talking isn’t going to change how I’m feeling.”
(I really don’t want to do this…)
Lon’qu: “She’s the past.” He says quietly.
Laura: “Yeah, but you told Cherche, Tharja, even Panne… why not me…?!”
It comes out as an accusation. I didn’t mean to sound like this.
Lon’qu: “I didn't mean to hide it…” “It’s just... her death was my failure. I didn't want you… to see that side of me."
(I know I’m being unfair. I know I am attacking him for no reason. His past is his past, we both have pasts that we rather not talk about. But, I’m wounded.)
Laura: “So… don’t you trust me…?” I speak vulnerably.
“…” A pause, a couple of beats and then he finally says, “Is my presence not proof of that?”
He moves his hands towards me again… but then just as quickly, he takes it back.
His withdrawal… makes me step closer towards him despite it all…
Laura: “What exactly am I to you…?” I whisper.
Lon’qu: “You’re-“
I cover his mouth with my hands.
Lon’qu: “?!” His face flushing.
(I’m afraid of his answer…)
(The moment he says that he doesn’t ever need me, I’ll fall apart.)
(What if he… doesn’t… want me around…?)
(What if he loves someone else…?)
(I wouldn’t be able to stomach it.)
Laura: “Forget it, don’t answer that.”
I remove my hands and I take off running.
I run away from him and from the training grounds.
Lon’qu: “Hey! Wait!! Laura…!”
But I don’t wait or look back, I keep running away. But, he’s fast. Super fast.
He chases after me.
Lon’qu: “Would you just listen for once??” His tone sharp and scolding.
I keep on running, but he reaches out and grabs a hold of my arm. He holds it firm, unwavering. Firm enough to keep me in place, but not bruise me.
I breathe, out of breath from running…
Lon’qu: “Don’t think that every time I was about to say something that has been gnawing at me… you purposely cut me off.”
Lon’qu: “Maybe it was my fault that I let it go on this long, but this ends now.”
Lon’qu: “What’s bothering you?” His voice full with concern.
Laura: “Have you not been listening?” I snap.
He says flatly. “I’m not a mind reader.”
I refuse to voice out my feelings anymore. Laura: “Then, there’s nothing to talk about is there.”
Lon’qu: “…”
Laura: “Look. I don’t want to fight with you…”
(Yelling at him doesn’t make it any better…)
Laura: “I’m in a foul mood.”
Lon’qu: “I… I just don’t understand.”
Laura: “I barged into your life. Ruined… your life. So, I’ll take my leave now.”
Lon’qu: “I never said that. You never ruined my life.”
His words hang in the air.
Laura: “Well, I feel like I’m ruining both of ours.” I force a dry smile.
His hand is still on my arm, but I feel we are drifting apart.
Lon’qu: “You’re… not…”
(And it’s all because of me…)
(I can’t pretend that I’m okay with… whatever this is...)
(I want you to love me…)
(I want more…)
Laura: “I… need… alone time.”
Lon’qu: “…What?“ His grip on my arm loosening a bit from what I’ve said.
Laura: “You can mingle with your new friends. Your comrades. Your partners.” The words come out bitter than I intended.
The thought of him hanging out with the other girls, even the other guys… sends my stomach dropping.
(How has he affected me so much…?)
His finger twitches on my arm and his eyebrows press together in a frown.
Lon’qu: “What is the meaning of this…?”
(I want you. I yearn for you. I want to own you.) (Won’t you say that you don’t need anyone else but me…?) (I don’t want other girls all over you. You’re mine!! Mine!)
Dangerous thoughts occupying my brain.
“…” I say nothing.
(But… you’re not mine…) I suck on my bottom lip and feel the ripped skin…
His brows bury deeper and his even his frown looks like he’s scowling.
(He’s… just so cute.) I find myself thinking even at a time like this.
I sigh. (I give up.)
(Just one more day…) I give into my feelings.
Laura: “I just remembered… that Robin wanted us to go on a scout mission? The next town over, we scope them out, make sure there’s no Risens, then come back.”
He stares at me. Really stares at me. “You… one moment you’re… then now you’re…”
He lets go of my arm to cross his own arms together.
Lon’qu: “Laura. What’s really bothering you…?”
(The way he says my name… again… makes my heart flutter around my chest.) “It’s a me problem…?”
Lon’qu: “A you problem…?” He repeats after me perplexed.
Laura: “Yeah. Stuff I have to work out by myself you know?”
Laura: “You would know all about it, you know with you and your nightmares and your past with… Ke’ri.”
(I hate how I have to say her name. Ugh.)
He flinches and recoils.
(Okay. That was mean of me.)
Laura: “Sorry. I’m a bully.” I laugh and start to walk off to the next town over.
The moment I move, he’s already moving behind me, until he’s next to me but positioned in a way that if he needs to step in front of me, he can.
(To protect me? Or is that wishful thinking…)
We walk in silence.
(Just one more mission and I’ll be done chasing him around…)
That thought makes me lonely. (Lonely…? I never get lonely.)
Lon’qu: “Pay attention…!”
Whooosh!
He swings his sword and knocks an arrow to the ground.
Thud!
(Enemies…? Here…?!)
I hastily take out my tomahawk. “I’ll support.” I take a look around but there’s too many trees and they can be anywhere.
(Where…?!)
Lon’qu: “Stay close.” He’s already on the move running towards the back of a tree.
(Should I follow or go the opposite way?!) Naturally, I start to follow after him…
(But I shouldn’t always rely on him…?)
(That’s right. I should get higher.) I start to climb up the nearest tree… and see an archer pointing its arrow straight at me. Good thing I didn’t climb that far, I drop down and pivot.
Thud! The arrow hits the ground right by right boot.
I throw my axe and knock off the Risen archer to the ground.
He’s about to shoot another arrow as I retrieve my axe back to swing. His arrow hits my weapon and I finish him off.
Laura: “I survived… Good.”
I looked around and lost sight of Lon’qu… but then I notice a trail of… blood?
(Lon’qu’s…? No… that can’t be…)
I had a bad feeling…
“Lon’qu?!” I yell out his name. No response… but a growl.
I have gained attention of three Risens fighting together. (I’m outnumbered…)
I bolt.
Towards the blood and the path it makes.
(Where is he…?!)
(I blame myself for not following him...!)
(Of all times to lose him!!)
There was just a pool of blood in the middle of a dead end…
(I’ve trapped myself…)
I turn around and decide to take out the slowest Risen. “Are you ready?” A critical attack, which obliterates it.
The remaining two has me locked in a pincher attack. (I can only focus on the one… either in front of me or behind me.)
(Which one?!)
I stepped up towards the one I’m looking at and swing hard. “No more playing around!” Another critical attack.
But… he evades and I brace myself for the oncoming impact behind me.
“Be silent.” A voice, I know too well.
I turned back towards him.
“Lon’qu?!” And then I notice blood on his arms. In the mist of battle, I take out my wand already forgetting about the Risen that just evaded my attack, and I tried to heal him. But, it’s not working.
I panic.
Laura: “…why isn’t it working?!”
Lon’qu: “It’s not mine.” He maneuvers behind me and takes out the remaining Risen with a “How well will you die.”
And then, promptly turns back to me, sheathing his sword. “Where… were you?” His voice stern. Cold. Laced with irritation…?
(I’ve never heard his tone like this before…)
He steps closer to me and asks me again. “Where were you…Laura?”
(If looks could kill…) “I…”
Lon’qu: “I told you to stay close.” He growls. “But you… weren’t there.”
(He’s right…)
Lon’qu: “Just… what is going inside that mind of yours?” His eyes soften slightly.
I didn’t have a reply. I open my mouth to reply but then close it because I don’t know what to say. “…”
He sighs. “You have to speak to me.”
Laura: “That’s rich coming from you…” I retort.
His brows furrows again. “…”
Laura: “…”
(Why am I even bullying him…)
(I’m hurting us both…)
Laura: “Look, I’m sorry for making bad decisions okay.” My words coming out like I have an attitude problem.
Laura: “The important part is that we are both alive.”
Laura: “Also… thanks for saving me back there…”
Lon’qu: “…Are you really not going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Laura: “It’s a me problem remember? Talking to you about it isn’t going to solve anything.”
He stiffens.
(At this rate… he’s just going to hate me…)
Laura: “Let’s just head back to camp and report the Risen sightings.” I begin to walk away when he grabs my arm, again…
Lon’qu: “Is that really… how you feel?”
I play dumb.
Laura: “About what?”
He tries to read my face, but I just stare back.
(Because I’m not being nice?)
(Because I’m not following you around…?)
(Because I’m stubborn…?)
Lon’qu: *sighs* "...Look, I don't know what l did to upset you. I'm not good with words either… and I'm not going to force you to speak.”
(I’m not sure how to take this. On one hand, I understand he’s respecting my space, but on the other hand, is he just giving up…?)
Laura: “It’s not you, Lon’qu… not entirely.”
Lon’qu: “?”
Laura: “I’ll say this just once. Since, I’ve been mean to you all day…”
I poke him in the chest where his heart is.
Laura: “If you want me, like really want me, then you have to find me…”
(I want you to chase me… claim me… tell me that I am forever yours…)
He abruptly lets go of my arm as if he’s been stunned. His cheeks turning red.
I have the urge to touch him… to make him squirm more… but I hold back.
Instead I look at him, really look at him. Take him in, his posture, his face, (oh how cute his blushing face is…) the way his hand is still hanging in the air, his flustered breath, the way his eyes keep darting away… he looks back for a split second and then looks away again.
My heart does a funny dance.
(This man who is of few words, stoic, resilient and yet… very protective and honest… loyal even… under all that gruffness, his inability to ignore a person in need of help…)
(He’ll say no, but he’ll do it anyway...)
Needless to say I’ve been staring at him this whole time. His eyes look back into mine and our eyes lock…
His gaze onto me feels like he only has eyes for me, that I might be the only one that matters. This suddenly leaves me very self conscious… (I can feel my cheeks burn…)
His hand cups my face and his thumb brushes my cheek. (Warm…) He slightly leans down… towards me…
But all that escapes my mouth is a “Huh…?”
My heart still hammering at his sudden touch.
Lon’qu: “...!” He pulls himself back and jerks his hand away just as fast.
(That just happened right…? I wasn’t dreaming?)
His face is flushed probably as flushed as my own…
And we stare.
I recall other times where his touch lingers longer than both of us anticipates.
(But why….?)
(But, then he always pulls back…)
Laura: “Do you want to touch me or not…” the question leaves my mouth, without permission.
My face flushes as I bite down on my lower lip as if that could have stopped the question that already left my mouth.
Lon’qu: “W-what?? …W-why?!”
(That was all I needed to hear… why would he?) (Anything besides a yes is basically a no.)
(At most he tolerates me, but he doesn’t love me…)
Laura: “Just… stay away from me. Please…”
His face falls but I don’t catch any more of his expression.
Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes once more, but for another reason.
I spin my head and body around to hide my tears away from him (not that he’s already seen them…) and run all the way home as fast as I could.
And of course… he doesn’t follow. (Because…why… would he?)
Lon’qu’s POV
I watch her turn her back and flee from me. Pain in her eyes, ache in my own chest.
For her to tell me to stay away… pleading… I know she’s about to cry…
(But I didn’t reach for her…)
(I didn’t stop her…)
(I didn’t go after her…)
(I’ve messed up again.)
(I’ve messed up everything.)
(I’m losing her…)
I let out a sharp breath that I didn’t even know that I was holding in.
(Touching her…) She drives me crazy.
(Does she even realize how many times… I’ve held back?)
(How can she ask me that and expect me to answer?)
(Of course I want to touch her. To kiss her. Claim her…)
I sigh and reprimand my thoughts.
(But, not like that. A first kiss should be memorable… not because she’s upset.)
Lon’qu: “…”
(I’m a fool.)
The reality of it all sinks into me all over again.
(But, she’s upset…)
(At me.)
(She doesn’t want to do anything with me…)
(I should ask for her forgiveness…)
But a stronger desire consumes me…
(Even without her forgiveness, I refuse to stay away…)
(I can’t let her go.)
(I won’t let her go…)
(Laura… How… do I make you love me…?)
(I do mean my anytime and anything for you… but not when it might jeopardize our relationship…)
I recall our camping trip… that night…
(Asking me to sleep with you. Don’t be ridiculous… Do you not know what you do to me, Laura?)
(I didn’t push you away because I don’t desire you….)
I huff out a exasperated breath.
(All I’ve been good at doing is making her hate me…)
I find myself walking back to the training grounds… a habit… (except she’s no longer here watching me…)
I sigh…
(I miss her little laughs.)
(I miss the way she glances to look at me when she thinks I haven’t noticed.)
(I miss her little pouts, her excitement, her smiles, the way she sighs, even the way she gets jealous…)
(I miss how flustered she gets. The way she tries hard…)
(I miss her presence…)
(Why are you avoiding me, Laura…?)
I sigh again, frustrated.
(The amount of time she consumes my mind when she’s here and when she’s not is distracting… but not unwelcome…)
Lon’qu: “Laura…” I whispered her name as if that would have summoned her to my side.
But, I know better… I have hurt her… and she doesn’t want anything to do with me...
(How do I reconcile this…?)
I run countless of scenarios through my mind as I pulverize the training dummies.
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