I woke up a bit earlier and got ready but I haven’t left my room.
After fleeing from him, things have been the same and not the same…
Ever since I started this list, I know that he’s been paired up with others besides just me. But lately, it just feels like he’s being further away from me. He’s been paired up with Olivia, which by now, it’s just how it’s been.
I reminisce.
It all started with Robin. A tactician, getting to know Lon’qu, and what he could provide on the battlefield. The more they trained the closer they got, that was the point.
(Train and get acquainted.)
Then, it was Vaike’s turn the month after that. They went on missions together, I was paired with others as well. Even on missions when we were assigned the same area, we had to follow our tacticians orders. (How I missed the days when I was the only one paired with him…)
(But, life doesn’t work this way does it….)
Next, was Gregor. Seeing Lon’qu on the battlefield and trying to analyze the way Gregor fought. He was studying as well as supporting.
(I told myself to not get in the way.) (Give him space…)
Then, comes Robin. The other tactician, she also paired up with him to see his skills, what he can offer the group. (Tactical. It made sense. But did I like it…? No.)
I sigh.
Sully on battlefield… nothing phased her. And with Lon’qu beside her, all the enemies were basically already dead before the battle even begun… (How I yearned to get stronger…)
Then, it was Lissa’s turn. Healing him during battles since they were paired up. He fought, she healed. Once in awhile, I did heal him from afar using physic before she could heal him. (That kept me satisfied, that I was able to heal him first when he needed it.)
Honestly… thinking about it, this was basically the same with Maribelle. Except Maribelle and her haughty attitude on the battlefield… I still remember how he avoided her early on when they were paired to get to know each other. (But again with time and battles, they got closer.)
Cordelia… is a perfect role model, yet she wears her heart on her sleeve… Her training with Lon’qu was really just training with him. (Not that I liked this either…)
I’m still lying in bed thinking, I haven’t gotten up…
Then, Nowi… again, getting familiar how to fight being paired up on the battlefield. After so many months, it was expected. (I guess I just got used to it…) (Okay, not really. More like I had to constantly remind myself, this must be done if we are to complete this list…)
That brings me to speed with Miriel. A walking disaster, but with her everything was an experiment, a test. Battles. Training. (I guess the good thing is that most of the time, I am able to go on missions with him even though we aren’t paired together, I can still see him from the from the corner of my eye…)
And now, he’s been going on missions with Olivia.
“But it just irks me so!!!”
“JUST HER DANCING AROUND HIM.”
I internally scream into my pillow…
(I just don’t and can’t deal with him hanging out with others…!!!) (But he can’t make friends if they aren’t building support with each other.)
I sighhhhhh. A long and deep sigh.
“Oh look at me… I’m a cute little pink thing dazzling guys into looking at my body…”
“Oh handsome~ shall I dance~ for you too~?”
(I’m so immature.)
A cough outside my tent.
I freeze.
(OH MY GOSH. DID THEY HEAR M-ME???)
I’m so embarrassed for my life. I don’t move.
“You took your time…. Can I come in…?”
(Lon’qu’s voice…)
(Lon’qu… LON’QU?!?)
Laura: “… …”
Lon’qu: “I… know you’re in there…”
(OF COURSE HOW MUCH HAS HE HEARD?!)
Laura: “C-come i-in.” I squeaked out, but loudly.
He comes in and looks at me. “You’re… still in bed…?”
Laura: “Thinking m-morning…”
Lon’qu: “…Cute little p-pink thing…?” He coughs not completing the rest of that sentence.
(PLEASE. WHY.)
My cheeks get hotter from the embarrassment.
Laura: “P-Please. Just ignore anything and everything you heard.”
Lon’qu: “I… can’t really do that…”
He walks closer to me so that I’m looking up at him while he’s looking down at me. I’m sitting upright on my bed with my legs dangling off the side, and he’s standing practically in front of me…
Lon’qu: “…Who are you dancing for…?”
It almost comes out as a growl.
(He thinks it’s me?!?)
Laura: “I-I can’t dance!!” I blurt out. “I’m not a dancer! I’m not dancing for anyone…!”
He blinks and then nods his head.
Lon’qu: “Alright.” He backs up a little giving me space. “Where to today?”
Laura: “We can some training this morning and the next one on the list would be… Olivia.” Even the way I said her name sounds painful.
He blinks and turns around to leave my place.
Lon’qu: “Let’s go then.”
I get up and follow him out to the training grounds.
He’s been practicing this sword thrust but every time he’s tried it so far…
Lon'qu: “Hiii-YA! *Crash* ...Hmph. Another failure.”
Olivia: “Oh, that's too bad.”
I slightly jump at the sound at her voice but pretend to check over my axe. (Has she been here the whole time?!!)
Lon'qu: “Olivia? Have you been watching me?”
(Her name… out of his mouth…)
Olivia: “Oh, sorry. I hope I wasn't intruding. It's just that Khan Basilio used to practice the same move.”
(Basilio?! She knows Basilio?!)
Lon'qu: “It is a trick that I have yet to master. But one day I shall! When Basilio slices the water jar open, not a drop is spilled.”
(… I really don’t know nothing about Basilio and Lon’qu huh…)
Olivia: “I know! It's crazy, huh? Somehow, he slices through it so cleanly that the flask doesn't shatter.”
(But, she does?!) My heart sinks.
Lon'qu: “I have power, accuracy, speed... What am I lacking?”
(You do have those things and more… I don’t think you’re lacking anything…)
Olivia: “Not that I'm an expert, but I don't think power has anything to do with it. When Basilio does it, he barely even swings his blade.”
Lon'qu: “You have observed him this closely?”
(So… she watches everyone huh…)
Olivia: “Well, er, yes. I suppose so.”
Lon'qu: “Then watch me as I attempt the trick again. Tell me if you see what I do wrong. But please - do not stand so close to me!”
(Ughhhhhhhhhh…) I stand and watch too…
Lon'qu: “Hiii-YA! *Crash* Damnation! Again I fail. The flask shatters under the blow every time...”
I wince at his choice of words.
Olivia: “Hey, Lon'qu? Perhaps you should take a break? Dinner's almost over.”
(Why did she come back…)
Lon'qu: “Stay, woman! Not one step closer!”
(Yes shoo away!)
Olivia: “Eeek! Sorry! I didn't mean to... Wait, do I make you nervous?”
(Eek! Do I make you nervous?) I openly mock her in my mind.
I bite my lips.
(I’m a terrible person.)
Lon'qu: “Anyway, I am not hungry. You may give my portion to someone else.”
(No you need to eat Lon’qu…)
Olivia: “I don't know if that's a good idea. You need to keep your energy up. Although, I guess if anyone can skip meals, it's you. Basilio did say he never knew anyone with more self-discipline.”
(Why does Basilio talk to Olivia?!?)
Lon'qu: ...Basilio said this to you directly?
(Exactly…)
Olivia: “He talks about you to anyone within earshot. We're all bored of it, honestly.”
(WAIT BORED OF IT?! Rude!!)
Lon'qu: “I did not know Basilio felt thus.”
(He’s proud. That’s adorable.)
Olivia: “You look pleased.”
(Urk.)
Lon'qu: “Wh-what? *cough* No, n-not at all. I care not what he thinks of me. ...Perhaps I will eat after all. Excuse me.”
(Just how far does Basilio and Lon’qu go back…?)
Olivia: “Hee hee. He can't fool me! That stern facade of his COMPLETELY fell away. He was blushing like a tomato!”
I roll my eyes as we walk away unintentionally.
(Get it together…! Stop being rude!)
I take a deep breath.
Lon’qu: “Everything okay?”
Laura: “Huh! O-Of course! Why are you asking…?”
Lon’qu: “That was a deep sigh. Eat up and feel better.” He grabs our meals and we head to a table together.
Laura: “Are you calling me a glutton…?”
Lon’qu: “No… but meals are enjoyable together… isn’t it?”
(I was the one who told him that and now he’s using it against me…!)
Laura: “You’re right… of course.”
We eat our meals in silence, and then head back to the training grounds since he wanted to try a few more rounds.
Lon'qu: “...Curses. Will I never do this?!”
Olivia: “Oooh, you were SO close that time!”
(But why is she still here??) I cross my arm.
Lon'qu: “You call that close? I call it pathetic. I've yet to strike a flask without it shattering into a million pieces!”
(Is that even possible…)
Lon'qu: “Bah. I'll never be a match for Basilio, let alone his better...”
(His better what exactly…?)
Olivia: “Have you forgotten what Basilio said?”
Lon'qu: “That I'm a genius? His greatest rival? Empty words, designed only to flatter. I have talent, but I lack the true heart of a warrior. THAT is his meaning!”
(The way he looks up to Basilio though... it’s cute…) (But the way he looks down on himself like that… why…?)
Olivia: “That's not true at all! You WILL become his rival someday. You mustn't give up, Lon'qu!”
(Okay cheerleader.) I grumble.
Lon'qu: “I understand now why I cannot cleave the flask. I have speed and power, but my heart is weak and irresolute. Without courage and conviction of purpose, my blade wavers and shatters the flask.”
(The way he’s come to this conclusion... absolutely precious…)
Lon'qu: “Yet, even though I know this, I am powerless to cure myself. Especially in your presence!”
(Cause his heart is weak to girls…?) I grumble…
Olivia: “Hey, I've got an idea!”
Laura: “…!”
Lon'qu: “Wh-what are you doing?! Release me! Release my hand, I say!”
(Grrr…)
Olivia: “Breathe, Lon'qu. Let the tension flow from your body... I know you can do it, Lon'qu! I believe in you!”
I try to keep my face as neutral as I can…
Lon'qu: “O-Olivia...”
(COULD YOU STOP SAYING HER NAME…)
(Ugh so foul…) My stomach drops.
Olivia: “No one is more resolute in purpose than you. You just have to believe.”
(Let go of him already!!!)
Lon'qu: “V-very well... Just let go of me!”
I sigh.
Olivia: “Oh, gosh! Sorry! I didn't mean to be so...um...sweaty. Yikes, this is embarrassing. I left a big red handprint on your wrist. Um, does it hurt?”
(Just how hard were you gripping him?!)
Lon'qu: “It does not hurt, but the experience was nonetheless terrible. However, I hear what you say, and I shall not give up.”
(That better be terrible or I’ll show you what terrible is…) I’m seething.
Olivia: “That's the spirit!I believe in you, Lon'qu! I know you'll make Basilio proud!”
(I can’t.)
Lon'qu: “We shall see.”
I had enough, I took out the small dagger that I hold onto just in case and swung it into the training dummy. Right in the heart.
But my aim was so off that I missed…
“What were you aiming for…?”
I flinched.
“Ah. Um….” (I can’t admit that I was going straight for the heart can I?!)
He pulls my dagger out and stabs it right in the heart.
Lon’qu: “Right here.”
Laura: “…E-Easier said than done…”
He faces me and takes my hand in his.
(W-what…?!)
And brings his hand to his chest, but a bit to the left of the center.
I try to move my hand away, but he holds it firm.
Lon’qu: “My heart.” He says a matter of fact.
(It’s warm… and I can feel his head faintly beat, though it’s also rapid…?)
And then let’s go as he quizzes me.
Lon’qu: “Now, where is your heart?”
I’m so taken aback by everything, still feeling the touch of his hand on my hand… that I point to the wrong side of my body. Because I just pointed to point.
He pokes my heart with the tip of his finger, softly, quickly.
Lon’qu: “There.”
It sends my heart stammering. My cheeks flush and I can feel it heat up but why?!
Lon’qu: “Guard it carefully.”
(From what?! From who!?)
(You?!?)
I take a breath when he pulls out a training dagger, basically one with a handle but not a blade.
Lon’qu: “Hand to hand training.”
(What’s bringing this on?!?)
Before I can even ask, he’s already pivoted, pointing the training dagger straight at my heart.
Lon’qu: “You would be dead.”
Laura: “H-how do you expect me to—“
He pivots behind me and has me in a lock with the dagger again pointed at my heart.
Lon’qu: “Dead again.”
My cheeks grow hot. (All I’m noticing is how broad his chest is and his arms…)
(GET IT TOGETHER!!) I try to slip under out of his grasp, but he just holds me tightly in place.
Laura: “H-how is this f-fair?!”
A faint chuckle.
(D-did he just laugh?!) My heart squeezes at how cute he is…
He lets go and hands me the training dagger.
Lon’qu: “Go ahead. Aim for my heart.”
I barely even move, when he hits the dagger out of my hand, catches it and this time hits the dagger handle to my heart.
Laura: “…!”
Lon’qu: “Dead.”
Laura: “Y-yes. I can see t-that…!”
He runs more scenarios and every single time, gets me in a hold…
Lon’qu: “How about you try to take the training dagger away from me?”
I reach out but he just lifts it higher while he scoots back, my arms can’t reach that high…
I’m practically leaning into him on my tippy toes to try to reach it, but to no avail… when he swings down and boops me on my heart.
Lon’qu: “Dead… yet again.”
Laura: “…!!” (BUT THAT WASN’T!?)
I’m becoming so hyperaware of him that every touch, every little thing about him sends my heart into a spin.
Lon’qu: “Are you even trying?”
Laura: “I-I am..!! But you’re just too fast…!!”
(And not even playing fair?!)
I’m out of breath, sweaty, and tingling all over. (And it’s all thanks to him?! Why is he doing this exactly?!)
Every attempt, was just me basically falling into him… locked in his arms…
(Just feeling his touch all over me…) (He’s really killing me…)
Lon’qu: “You have been killed… 25 times now.”
I am rendered speechless. (He’s been counting?!)
Lon’qu: “Shall I increase the difficulty?”
(AS IF ANY OF THIS HASN’T BEEN DIFFICULT ALREADY???)
Laura: “But I haven’t—-“
When he tackles me to the ground.
Laura: “…?!!”
He’s got me pinned down, his hands on my arms… his knee on the side of my body…
(W-what??!)
(My face is definitely on fire now…!!)
Lon’qu: “So, how would you get out of this?”
Laura: “W-why would I even be in such a position?!”
Lon’qu: “…”
He doesn’t budge at all, and I can’t get out of his grip.
We stare at each other, my breaths short and my chest breathing up and down.
He’s just looking down at me while I’m looking up at him… his eyes… perusing.
(J-just what is he looking at…?!)
I look into his eyes… I don’t have anywhere else I can look really.
He still has me pinned, when suddenly, his face gets all red and he practically jumps off of me, dusting himself.
Lon’qu: “S-sorry. You need to work on guarding yourself more.”
I push myself up off the ground.
Laura: “M-maybe… if my life depended on it, my reflexes will kick in…”
Lon’qu: “We will keep working on it.”
Laura: “W-why?” I’m still flustered.
Lon’qu: “Do you want to be an easy target?”
Laura: “…I’m not easy…!”
(Is he really… trying to kill me??!)
Lon’qu: “We’ll see about that.” He actually smiles.
(A SMILE.)
(My heart isn’t getting a break today is it…)
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