Lon’qu S Support
(Rejected by the one person that I love the most…) (Well… it wasn’t a complete rejection right…?)
(Who am I kidding…)
I sigh.
(I basically said you want to touch me?? How would anyone reply to that??!)
Laura: “…”
Even so… I’m back to avoiding him, if I see him, I run. (It’s so obvious…!!)
(What am I even doing nowadays…)
I sigh again….
(There’s no starting over…) (I love him and that’s that…)
My heart is heavy… it stings. (The moment he tells me that I’m nothing…)
(Actually… he wouldn’t even say that, one day he’ll just go back doing his own thing…)
(We won’t meet anymore…
we won’t talk anymore…
I won’t be able to stare and just see his face… his eyes…
his stern look…
his smiles…)
I audibly sigh again.
(Everything just disappears…)
(Into emptiness…)
(Strangers.)
Another sharp pain.
(When did I become this way…)
(I should just march straight up to his face, straight into his personal space, and then what…?)
(See if his heart beats just as erratically as when I see him…?)
And then I see him… striding straight at me.
My heart does a flip instead.
Laura: “…!”
Instinctively, I pivot and run straight into the nearest hiding spot, the supply room, which only has one entrance…
(I silently scold myself.) As I run in the furthest corner that I could find.
Lon’qu: “We need to talk.” I’m standing stupidly staring at crates, when he approaches me.
Laura: “W-What… is it…?” My heart already hammering out of my chest and he’s barely said anything, only that we need to talk…
Lon’qu: “You… have been avoiding me for days now. You tell me to find you, but when I walk your way, you flee.”
Laura: “… I… had other things to do. I didn’t even see you…” (I lied. I totally saw him coming each time, but couldn’t bear to face him.) I fumble with some equipment.
Lon’qu: “The first few times, sure maybe. But not every time. Even when Robin paired us for missions, you made excuses saying you had other plans already.”
Laura: “I… did have other things to do. Plus, you could have easily completed those missions without me.”
Lon’qu: “This coming from you… who rarely skipped out on inserting yourself in my solo missions.”
Laura: “…” (He’s right of course… but that was also such a long time ago. He hasn’t been on solo missions since… since he’s paired up with the others…) An internal sigh. “Yes…” I avert looking at his face, busying myself with looking at the supplies.
He takes a step closer. I see his boots as I continue to pretend to sort the supplies now.
Lon’qu: “So you make time for everyone… but me…?”
(So he’s noticed… of course he’s noticed.) I’ve been hanging out with some of the other shepherds in spite. I feign ignorance.
Laura: “Time for what…?” I shuffle things around.
He sighs.
Lon’qu: “Drawing with Libra… eating candy with Gaius… cleaning with Frederick… flirting with random townsfolk at the market stalls… should I say more…?”
Each word strained, pained almost, and sharp. Yet, the amount of details tells me that he has been watching me… my heart quickens at the thought.
(Flirting he says.) I scoff, and then clear my throat.
(If he thinks that was flirting… I have nothing to say to you.)
Laura: “…” I move more items in their containers.
Lon’qu: “Why are you avoiding me… Laura…?”
My name on his lips unravels me.
(He sounds wounded… hurt…) The things I don’t want him to be…
On an instinct, I look back at him. (Wrong move.) I see the subtle expression in his eyes, the worry, the questions, the confusion.
(I don’t want you flirting with other girls.)
(I want you all to myself.)
(I don’t want to you to love anyone else.)
(I want you… to love me, Lon’qu.)
(I want to be only yours…)
(But you… don’t… love me…)
These thoughts swirl around in my mind. “I…” “I can’t… say…” I look down at the ground.
Lon’qu: “Hmph. That’s rare coming from you who says whatever you feel like. Though… lately that hasn’t been the case…”
He breathes. Deeply.
He feels so close that I can feel the end of his breath tickle the back of my neck…
He takes another step closer to me. “Tell me… what did I do…?”
Laura: “No!”
My voice shocking us both.
Laura: “It’s… it’s not you…” (I’m just jealous, who’s the lucky girl who’s got you?)
(I don’t know how to explain it.)
(Well… more like why should I explain it…)
I fumble with the supplies in front of me.
Lon’qu: *sigh* “I’m… not good at words, but I need you to talk to me.”
I don’t look his way… I continue move the supplies organizing them.
Lon’qu: “Look at me.”
My eyes look up on an instinct, but I look back down just as fast pretending to busy myself with the supplies.
He grabs both of my wrists to stop me, “I need you to listen and look at me.”
I look up at him… (Worry…? Sadness…? Hurt…?) My heart is heavy because I’m the one probably causing all of this.
Lon’qu: “How… do I fix this, Laura…?”
Caught between both of his hands and stare, I…
Laura: “…” I just look back into his eyes… hoping he can’t read my expression that is probably showing up on my face.
(Can’t you just… tell me… confide in me…)
(Share with me everything that you shared with them… and not me.)
(If I don’t have your heart, at least treat me like everyone else…)
He takes a deep breath… still holding both of my wrists.
(I refuse to say it out loud though…)
Laura: “…”
Lon’qu: “I… grew up in the slums. Don’t remember much of it honestly. I lived life trying to survive… until I met her. Ke’ri.”
I swallowed, my throat dry. His hands still holding my wrists and looking straight at me…
Lon’qu: “She was my first…”
I winced, I really don’t want to hear those next words, if it was a crush or a love…
Lon’qu: “…friend.”
Relief floods through me just hearing him say that, but at the same time was she really just a friend…?
Laura: “…” I look up at his eyes. His eyes bore through me. His eyes telling me to trust him… I… look away.
His thumb brushes my wrist. Subtly. But, I feel every motion of it…
Lon’qu: “She taught me that there was more to life than just survival. She would show me things, village things… farming, nature. Stuff that other kids our age would do.”
Lon’qu: “I never went to school… so I imagined that was how classmates interacted.”
(Childhood friends that would have blossomed into love huh…) That thought cut me deeper than I expected.
Laura: “…” I breathe faster, involuntarily…
Lon’qu: “We were just kids, Laura…”
(I know… but still…)
(A part of me is just irrationally jealous…)
(I just… can’t help it.)
His fingers still warm on my wrists…
Lon’qu: “She was there until… that one day bandits came… and I was powerless. I couldn’t save her, she died... I killed her.”
I lifted my head and looked at him sharply.
Laura: “…That’s not fair… you know you didn’t kill her. You were just a kid…”
Lon’qu: “Kids… but we were almost teenagers.”
Laura: “Grown bandits versus one little you… no matter how strong you were, you were outnumbered, it’s not your fault….”
Lon’qu: “Doesn’t change the fact that I was weak and powerless.”
Laura: “But… you’re not… not weak or powerless. You endured this for years. You’re strong… your past makes you, you.”
(I wouldn’t change anything about it.)
(And… despite it all… I love him even more for it…) The realization that I love him even more than I had mentally prepared myself for, pained my heart even more.
Lon’qu: “…”
Laura: “Imagine… if none of this happened, you wouldn’t be the you who you are today…
(The man I fell in love with… the one who shooed all the girls to stay away.)
(His gruffness. The ways his eyes that seem to always pierce into my heart…)
Laura: “Then… I wouldn’t be here…” I say flatly, almost as a whisper...
His grip on my wrists loosen for a split second, then holds onto me like if he lets go, I would leave…
Lon’qu: “Don’t… say that…”
Laura: “B-but it’s true…” It’s all I can muster.
Lon’qu: “If… what happened in my past lead me to you… I would endure it all over again.”
Lon’qu: “As long as you’re here, Laura.”
Lon’qu: “By my side…”
My heart thumps around wildly…
(The way he so easily says this…)
(Why do you make me feel so special…?)
Laura: “T-Then… then what about… your nightmares…? Are… are you still having them…?”
I look into his eyes, right at him…
He pauses, searches my face, then turns his head to look away from me.
His fingers grip my wrists softly.
Lon’qu: “They’re… gone.”
Laura: “Since when…?” I was curious, that the words slipped out before I realized it.
His mouth tightens a bit, I can tell he’s thinking.
He looks at me again, then his cheeks burn.
Lon’qu: “For… some time.” Then, he looks away, slightly blushing. “Ask me in 10 years…”
Laura: “Huh…?” (Why 10 years…?)
I blurt out. “Why 10 years?!”
His face is still flushed, (embarrassed almost… but why!?)
Lon’qu: “I’ll tell you… in 10 years.”
His tone that it’s final and nothing can change that.
(Unfair…)
He clears his throat and changes the topic.
His hand still gripping mines…
Lon’qu: “What other things have you at unease?”
Laura: “…”
(I want to know if you’re in love with anyone… but if it’s not me…)
(I don’t want to know.)
(But, I can’t exactly ask that?!)
Laura: “…”
Laura: “Are you going to hang out with the shepherds now that you’re all friends…”
(Why did I say that…)
Lon’qu: “?” He looked so perplexed.
Lon’qu: “…Why?”
Laura: “W-Why not…?”
He shakes his head.
Laura: “I mean you trusted them… enough to say all the things you said…”
Lon’qu: “I only said the things I said… because of you.”
Now I was perplexed… his hands still clasped around my wrists…
Laura: “…Huh?”
Lon’qu: “You heard everything… through the mic.”
Lon’qu: “Did it not cross your mind that I was able to say all of that because you were there…?”
I could feel my heart pumping through my chest.
Laura: “No… because that is you Lon’qu… with or without me, you would have helped everyone out. You never turn away a person in need…”
Lon’qu: “I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone if you didn’t make me.”
His statement cuts deep. (It was true, I had forced him.)
I was rendered speechless.
Laura: “…”
Lon’qu: “Look… I’m not blaming you.”
He brushes his thumb on my inner wrists once in a circular motion. Then catches himself and abruptly stops. But then… he does it again…
(I still don’t know what to say…) and he’s gotten me so distracted now…
Lon’qu: *Sigh* “I’ve been thinking about our last conversation. It’s been replaying in my mind.”
Laura: “Which part…?”
The conversation flows in my head. Flashback: “If you want me, like really want me, then you have to find me…”
I blush, remembering what I said. “Forget about what I said! It was nonsense!” (A lie. A lie that he could easily read.)
Lon’qu: “It’s not nonsense.” He steps another step closer, still holding my wrists locked in place. I scoot back, I’m now stuck between the supply crates and the wall.
Laura: “Asking you to find me is basically nonsense. We live in the same camp! It would be impossible for you not find me!”
Lon’qu: “That’s not the point.”
Laura: “Then… what is the point?”
Lon’qu: “Did you do something… to me?”
“Laura: “Huh? What do you mean…?”
Lon’qu: “When you’re running around all I see is you…”
(My face flushes at his statement.)
Laura: “Is that… a bad thing?”
Lon’qu: “When Robin doesn’t pair us for missions, I rather be paired with you…”
My heartbeat quickens but at the same time, (Why did he mention Robin…?)
Lon’qu: “When you don’t show up… something is missing.”
Laura: “Some-something?” I stammer. “You got too used to me… I pushed myself onto you and you’re relapsing…”
Lon’qu: “You consume my thoughts...”
He closes the space between us, so I have no choice but to look up towards at him.
Lon’qu: “You have nowhere to hide now.”
Laura: “…” my heartbeat quickens through the close proximity.
Lon’qu: “I’m not…good at this. What do you want me to do…?”
(Be by my side.)
(Never leave me.)
(Love me…)
I take a deep breath and say his name. Laura: “Lon’qu… you—“
Suddenly, he embraces me, softly at first… then tightly, as he doesn’t want to let me go. My face flushes with happiness at his sudden embrace. But I don’t want to hope for something if this isn’t anything, I put my hands slowly up between us as to try to stop my longing for him…
He releases me from his grip, my heart thumping in rejection, when just as quick he grabs my left hand.
“…?” A sound escapes me.
Lon’qu: “Will you accept this?” He says as he slides a ring down my left finger.
Laura: “A… a ring…? When did you…?”
Lon’qu: “After that day when you ran away from me… several days… I’ve been trying to figure out the best time to give it to you…”
Laura: “But this… there are no take backs…this means forever….”
Lon’qu: “I wasn’t going to take a no for an answer.”
I blushed. (Clearly, as he slipped it on my finger without my own reply.) “Even still… I accept…”
He smirks. “Not like you had a choice.”
He’s still got me cornered… I can feel the heat radiating off my cheeks.
Laura: “D-don’t you find this a bit c-cheating…?”
Lon’qu: “I refuse to give you up. Stop running away from me, Laura…”
He brushes his fingertips on the side of my face…
Lon’qu: “You’re… everything to me, Laura.”
I can tell that he means every word… this is his pact, his promise to me…
(Doesn’t he know the things that he says and does…)
(I am at his mercy…)
I say the words deep in my heart, my vow to him.
Laura: “I am yours Lon’qu… if you’ll have me… and you… you are forever mine.”
Lon’qu: “…Forever?”
I nod my head.
Laura: “In this time, and even after… if you love me, cherish me, stay by my side, and never leave me and protect me…”
(I’ll give you my heart, body and soul for all of eternity.)
The intensity of his gaze pierces through my soul.
His eyes look into my eyes then trail downwards and back up again.
His breath becomes ragged.
Laura: “…?”
He leans down and kisses me on my cheek where he just touched it moments before, a quick chaste peck, and turns beet red.
I’m probably just as red but my heart is full and soaring.
Lon’qu: “I… l-lo- nnnghh… Look, I’ll protect you always, Laura. I’ll never leave your side…”
Bonus (10 years later)
Laura: “Wait so, about your nightmares, when did they disappear?”
His eyes widen at my sudden question. Lon’qu: “What… brought this on?”
Laura: “You told me to ask you in 10 years, so…??”
Lon’qu: “I thought you would forget…”
“Well that’s not fair!” I pout.
He chuckles as he leans down close to my face. “You… invaded my dreams… from the start…”
“Huh…” I could feel my cheeks heating up.
Lon’qu: “The nightmares faded… and I began dreaming of you… involuntarily… throughout the day… and into the night…”
(Wait… in the day… daydreams… about me??) I blushed.
Lon’qu: “I couldn’t admit it then… but now… look at what you did to me.” He smirks.
(He has me all wrapped around his finger…)
Laura: “Wh-what did you dream about…?”
His voice drops low and husky as he says, “Lots of things… like this…” and closes my mouth with his kiss. His hands roaming… It was deep and hungry, so much yearning, love, and passion over all these years together… he breaks the kiss.
Lon’qu: “You are mine, Laura and I am… yours.”
I’m breathless, flustered, and my heart… is full.
Laura: “I know that… you have done so much for me for these past 10 years. I’m truly blessed with you by my side…”
(So much patience, waiting, always putting me first… my husband.)
I wrap my arms around him, pulling him into a hug and squeeze as tight as I can.
He wraps his arms around me, tightly.
Lon’qu: “I’m the lucky one, because I have you. You have had my heart for more than 10 years… it’s yours forever... as long as you wish it to be.”
Laura: “I want you… forever, Lon’qu…”
(Hadn’t I told him this before?)
Laura: “You’re stuck with me.”
Lon’qu: “Noted.” He chuckles as he lifts me up as he holds me.
Lon’qu: “I love you, Laura. Only you… my wife.”
He seals our vows, our promises, with another sweet and tender kiss as he holds me close, pressed against him.
My heart dances in the way that only he can make my heart dance…
Laura: “I-I’m sure that I love you more…”
Lon’qu: “…”
He goes silent, but I see his thinking face on… the way his brows knit together… the way his mouth slightly clenches… after all these years he’s still making that face.
Laura: “Hehe.” (He’s just so cute…)
He’s still holding me with one arm while his other hand pulls on my collar strap…
Laura: “…!”
Lon’qu: “…I’m sure I can prove to you that I love you more…”
Again, with that deep voice of his…
I’m rendered speechless.
His fingers tapping on my heart.
His cheeks flush, which in turn makes my cheeks flush just as hard.
(Doesn’t he know that I’m at his mercy!?)
My breath catches at the way he’s looking at me… his every tap catching my breath and attention…
He smirks knowing that he’s got me… (as always…)
(How much I adore this man…)
(My love…) (I’ll give him everything…)
Laura: “I-I know you love me…” I peep out flustered.
Lon’qu: “I always have and always will. You have my word.”
He still has his hand on the strap of my collar…
His eyes boring into mines. It would be easy for him to just kiss me.
(But he wants me to kiss him doesn’t he…)
He tugs a little, subtly.
He doesn’t lean in… he waits.
Flustered, I give him a peck on his lips.
Lon’qu: “Is that all I’m worth to you…?” It’s not cold… he’s teasing me. “Laura.” He adds my name on his breath.
I put my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to him. And give him a mouthy kiss.
I pull back after kissing him, my face red hot burning.
Laura: “How’s t—“
When he chases my kiss, with a deeper kiss.
Laura: “!”
My heart wildly thumps around in my chest, the blood rushing to my cheeks.
Lon’qu: “And that’s just the surface on how much I love you, Laura...” He says with a smug.
And again, I’m at a loss of words.
(This man that I love so much…)
(How when I first met him, saw him, and wanted to get to know him more and more…)
(How he has taken over my whole world… my whole heart.)
(My husband.)
(My Lon’qu.)
(Mine and only mine.)
Laura: “But, you’re mine…”
He chuckles. It’s not even a loud laugh, just a quiet happy one that comes from his throat and my heart melts again and then soars…
Lon’qu: “I am yours… that’s true… but don’t you forget that you are mine, Laura.”
(And again… he is right.)
(I would give him anything that he desires. And he knows it.)
(To be his forever… his one and only.)
Laura: “I love you very much Lon’qu. I hope you know that.”
I give him a squeeze.
Lon’qu: “Everyday.” He says it as a matter of fact.
And he hugs me just as tightly or even more so… as if I’m the only thing that matters, as he carries me to wherever he wants to go.
